Hyper-thrusts as if strapped to the front of a pointed rocket that is positioned centre of my back, causing limbs top and bottom to stretch super naturally back. There is not a piece of skin, vein, or bone I cannot feel while still bound by what instantly feels magically together. It’s like one second you are in the world as the known passing over into the unknown and the mind justifies a new reality in a millisecond. Instantly the body is facing g-forces imaginably only achieved if travelling from galaxy to galaxy. The insane acceleration, if was a simulation of a sort simulates a buzzing through a time tunnel and is alien to us on earth and in the physical world as we currently can possibly understand it.
I am pinned like smudged to the front with every bone stressed and bent in the most unnatural of opposite directions, an integration of matter and me blend together forming a new rockets nose. Starting from 0 into warp the sensation of the acceleration is not earthly nor for a moment changing. Travelling at a speed faster than light and in a loop repeating over and over the sensation of my body and mind is being screwed up toe to head into the tightest of shredded paper ball and springing back together again as me integrated with rocket. Desperately I hold on to the slight of energy still firing in my mind with the little remaining light of consciousness. Before facing what assumingly in my own mind, now can only be a death, as specs of light streak past in warp 11.
I scream from a voice that only felt possible had come uncontrollably from somewhere else. With no pre-thought to actually being dead, “I am dead,” roars out in the exact synchronicity of an explosion. An explosion from the finest of pinpoints begins as if from the centre of my being. Mere quantum particles of me spread covering distances to other galaxies and all in the fractions of a moment. Spread out everywhere far and wide, I feel now a relieving nothing had arrived and finally released, I do not exist.
Arriving to nowhere
And with a quick flash all galaxies shrink back together as if a sudden vacuum was being formed. Reappearing back in my fullest of form, weightless I drift in the most tranquil place somewhere in space and time. Immediately I start to talk only to myself. “What the fuck,” “where am I,” verbally comes from my mouth. “Am I real and am I dead or alive?” as my eyes peer down on my hands while lifting them to my face to feel. I look down over the full length of my body before outwardly scoping my surroundings. A felt sense of the darkness took over my being from the moment of reappearing as the indescribable darkness appeared with a grander of depth that only continued forever in every direction.
There are no stars and there was an absolutely nothingness which felt only the most incredible of peaceful. I marvelled how I could see myself clearly as if illuminated by a source from all directions. Not able to see any source of light I swivel looking around 360 degrees as I ask, “How is it possible I can see me?” Nobody answered but only an answer arrived into my mind. Out there, somewhere projecting on me are streams of light otherwise how could I see given my eye balls most complicated of creations design is only reactive to the one thing, light.
Are they so far away I cannot see the streaming light and is this, what they mean by the true light is found somewhere in the darkness of our own minds. The deep dark sub consciousness might hold the keys and light of my existence. More relieving to any philosophical questions is, I do not mater. A phew blows from my cheeks as I contemplate I do not need to know any of it, where the light comes from, or where I am just now because I in all honesty to myself, do not mater.
Opening my eye’s I see the inside of a tent. I think with only one word and only with a question mark attached to tent. My eye pupil instinctively scopes while following all angles of stitching. Switching from side to side and secondly noticing it is morning with the sun still low shinning on the tent. The temperature has risen to an almost uncomfortable of heat. I feel exhausted but do not know why. Two questions come to my mind and I quickly need answers. “Where am I and why do I feel having been beaten up by a few blokes from the hells angels.”
There’s something cupped in my left hand so I raise it into the line of sight of a head that doesn’t have the energy to lift with even the slightest of effort. It’s a bottle of mosquito repellent, which instantly initiated a memory recollection response and felt as if my eyeballs turned in their sockets to face the dark again. There was only a slight pause in the darkness before flashing up in front as if turning on a monitor screen that filled from edge to edge with roughly a dozen images. Images of people, places, and time.
Some of the images are moving and there seemed to be a pattern or some sort of chronological order. Soon as I identified with the word pattern, all pictures broke up into bits forming geometric shapes that more resembled shards of glass. The shards entangled together screwing up into a mess as one image came into a focus, zooming out from the middle until covering the whole mess of fragmented pictures. Instantly I recognised the picture and assumed each of the pictures and images contained my memories.
The year is 2016 and I have not written this story yet and my site title tobecontin maybe one of them strange 11:11 co-incidences. I only hope that with 51 to midnight in the final hour of life I find some will power, energy, courage and time.